Sunday, July 10, 2011

A Found Note

I have a whole room at my parent's dedicated to the remnants
of my divorce. I have enough nice plates to feed an army.
I have towels. I have blankets; I have one that has the Idaho Falls
Temple beautifully embroidery on it--a heirloom I suppose. I have
a scrapbook that I painstakingly put together telling myself over
and over that I wasn't wasting my time, things would
get better. When a good friend asked me what I wanted for a wedding
gift, I told him a vacuum. He got my favorite color. It sits collecting dust.
I have the cute little-ice-cream-cone-shaped bowls with matching spoons,
missing one because he dropped it, shattering it into a million pieces.
I have picture frames still filled with us, waiting for me to find them and
change their stories. I have enough food storage for two for a year.

I have far too much for being single. Just sitting there in great piles
that get tipped over and scattered as I occasionally dig to find things.

It reminds me of him.
I remember who gave us what on that day. Everything was so exciting because
it held so much promise. Items to fill a new home. Items to help a new family get
started. It is a guilty treasure trove because
none of it was meant for someone who would a year later be throwing in the
towel. But I hold onto it because it is what is left for me to start new someday.

Today, I found a note from my boyfriend about a simple thing like loving
my laugh. It made me smile and feel good about keeping stuff.
It's what got me thinking about the important things to keep around.
I have someone really great. Someone so entirely special that sometimes
I am taken back that he loves me. (I check to make sure all the time.)

And someday I hope, knock on wood, that he will be the one helping me

The Note:

Reasons Kendra is More Amazing than She Gives Herself Credit For
#4 Your Laugh
I absolutely love it when you laugh. It's such a bright and cheery laugh. Your eyes squint a little and your tongue hits the back of your teeth and I can't help smiling when you do it. It's great. Plus, when you laugh, you smile, and wow! What a gorgeous smile it is. I won't get into that though, because I think it deserves its own list item later on.

I sure like him.



Erika Lee Sears said...

I just love his note so much! and such a great picture.
I think as I have gotten older and have made a million mistakes and I think its ok to say I don't want to have a cookie cutter life, just the best life for me. :)

PS Thanks for stopping by my blog- new follower to yours :)!

SaffaKate said...

Hi Kendra Sue.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the sweet words.
I happy to have found yours and really enjoyed your posts about your vacation to my new home. :)

mary kate said...

kendra! its so great to hear from you and im so glad your blogging again, i missed your posts. that note is adorable and you are lucky to have found someone who cares for you so much and im glad that you have. ps im a total wuss when i wear heels to :)

Baby Sister said...

Awww, that's so sweet. And that picture is awesome. I hope for your sake that he will be there holding your hand when you have to face the ugliness that is inside of that room.

Andrea :: FancyThat! said...

Wow, that's intense. Restarts are hard...but blank slates are promising!