Friday, September 10, 2010

Don't Call Boys: Mom's Golden Rule

Align Center Let me tell you about dating.
(Well at least about dating after you haven't been dating for awhile because, you know,
you've been married.)

It's awkward.
I feel like I'm lying to the guy. But honestly, when do you tell
someone that you messed up your life. And who honestly wants
to be dating a girl who drags on and on about her heart breaking.

But I am dating now, and I have to remind myself of something
that I believe in but struggle with.
I believe that the man must be the one asking you on the
date and essentially be the one pursuing the woman.
(the old-fashion type of relationship)
When I was in sixth grade I called Ryan E. (definitely someone I had a
crush on) because we were planning to surprise our teacher with a party.
Although the phone call started as strictly business,
I wasn't going to let an opportunity to talk to the oh so popular Ryan E.
go. Nope, I took full advantage. I kept that poor boy on the phone as
long as I could.
However, when mom found out I got the "do-not-call-boys
lecture" (it was short but affective) and for the most part that has worked really well.

I've forgotten that lesson.
I set up the sweet swaps. I call when I want someone to go with me somewhere.
I text when I want them to know I'm thinking of them.
And I definitely think of some of the most creative schemes to get in the
same room as the man I'm semi-stalking. I am aggressive and I think it
is wrong! I make it too easy on men. And to be perfectly honest, I think my
whole generation does.

I'm not suggesting that we become sticks in the mud. No,
flirt away, make your interests known discreetly. Just don't be the
first to make the move.
I think men have become lazy. They can rely
on us to pick up the slack and tell them when they should be
getting together with us again. We don't even give them a chance to lead out.
Don't we want a man who is going to have the guts to chase after us?
And its sad when we have church leaders giving talks about the
definition of a date verses "hanging out."

No, we shouldn't want to "hang out."
No, we don't want to have intelligent conversations be through texting.
We want to be dated and courted. It doesn't even have to be fancy.
Do you realize that by enabling these men through the dating
experience you are going to be dealing with that through marriage as well?
(And then you get the title of the nagging wife.)
Let the men have a little ambition and put forth a little effort.
I like a man who plans the date beforehand, opens the car door, and
calls soon afterwards to say how great I am and that he wants to do it
again. I want to make a comeback of MEN and chivalry and the go-get-em attitude.

This time, you won't find me calling boys.


Though I might change my mind if I had a cool phone like this.


Laura Wynn said...

Gosh, I hate to admit it...but I needed this. I do the same thing. It's really important though, to let them do it. Good point on what we do in dating we'll mostly likely do in marriage. We should have a No Calling Club :)

Mommy Ann said...


Holly Knitlightly said...

Haha! Good luck with dating! I hope you find the perfect guy soon. :) You deserve it!